I’ve been concerned about hip hop’s “state of emergency” for a while:  I was concerned when Chief Keef mocked the violent murder of a rival on Twitter; I was concerned when footage of his counterpart Lil Reese emerged, in which he was violently attacking a woman; I was concerned when Lil Wayne released a song in which he openly mocked the brutal and violent death of Emmet Till.  I am not just a concerned citizen; I am a concerned hip hop fan.

And now, I’m an angry hip hop fan.

As you may or may not know, rapper Rick Ross has come under fire for his verse on Atlanta rapper’s Rocko’s track “U.O.E.N.O.”

Ross raps “Put molly all in her champagne/ She ain’t even know it/ I took her home and I enjoyed that/ She ain’t even know it.”

Rick Ross is rapping about rape.

While it isn’t unusual for the former corrections officer to rap about selling drugs, guns, objectifying women, and other questionable content, Ross has crossed the line this time, big time.

It’s not that guns, drugs, objectifying women, and violence are okay, but these are consensual behaviors, often with detrimental consequences to the people who choose to engage in them.  But again—people engage in these activities by choice.  The scantily clad women in his videos are there by choice; the guns and the drugs he claims to sell or use, procured by choice.

Rape, however, is never anyone’s choice—except the rapist’s.  And when a woman doesn’t know you drugged her drink and had sex with her, guess what?  That is rape.

Again:  Rick Ross is rapping about committing a rape.

Just a few days before these controversial lyrics drew national attention, a verdict was delivered on the Steubenville rape case.

Two young men were found guilty of raping a girl while she was drunk and unable to give consent.

The media sympathized with the rapists, lamenting about their days as football stars and their “promising futures.”

The other students in Steubenville sympathized with the rapists; two young women were even arrested for threatening the rape victim’s life after the verdict was delivered.

Even more disturbing, the assault was videotaped and photographed, then posted all over Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

The girl’s peers and even former friends saw; some of whom testified that they were angry with her for being so drunk that it happened to her; some of whom testified that they didn’t report anything because they weren’t aware what was happening was rape.

Then there were others who were well aware what was happening was a rape, a nonconsensual sex act, and not only failed to report it, but were videotaped making jokes about it and laughing as if it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen.  In fact, they dubbed themselves the “rape crew.”

What are also disgusting are the allegations that several adults knew what happened and covered it up, including a football coach and school officials.

This is called “rape culture,” in which we somehow find a way to ignore, defend, or dismiss the reprehensible behavior that is rape, and more shockingly yet, blame the victim.

There is no ignoring, defending, or dismissing rape—this is why it continues to be such a pervasive problem in our society.  In the United States, a sexual assault happens every two minutes.  More than half (54%) of sexual assaults are never even reported, and 97% of rapists never spend a single day in jail.

Yet the hip hop community is largely ignoring Rick Ross and his rape raps.  Lupe Fiasco has spoken out against Chief Keef and the culture he represents; Lil Reese issued a public apology following his horrible behavior; Saigon has lambasted 2 Chainz and Ross prior to this for their lyrics that were detrimental to youth; Jay Z has shunned Chris Brown for his abuse of Rihanna; the label Lil Wayne was releasing the Emmet Till verse on issued a public apology and released the song without the offensive lyrics.

In these situations, people have done the right thing, and spoken out against the injustices.

However, not one of Rick Ross’ peers has checked him on his comments.  In fact, the only commentary I’ve seen has come from women.

In the Steubenville rape case, out of the thousands of text messages collected for evidence and the many individuals involved, only one person spoke out and told one of the rapists that he was wrong for what he did.

Rick Ross, I am a fan of hip hop, but before I am a fan of hip hop, I am a woman.  Your lyrics are disgusting and wrong; you are rapping about rape.  Hip hop, I am disappointed in you for not checking your brother on his behavior and your failure to protect the queens from which you came.

If you see something, say something.  Stand up for what’s right; speak out against rape.  Educate yourself and your peers on what rape is.  Because what Rick Ross is rapping about—that is rape and it should never be defended, dismissed, or ignored.

Sometimes I feel like I am observing my own life–I can see myself: being nervous, stuttering, stammering, unable to articulate clear thoughts, but I don’t know how to stop it. I feel it’s linked to “over thinking.”  How to soothe my mind & align energies?

Ask your own question.

To top it off, she’s also offering a FREE group-coaching course in December on the topic of manifesting.

Enjoy!

Q – You are a self-proclaimed manifesting maven. Can you demystify this topic for us?

Gab:  We are always manifesting. Each thought we have creates an energy flow within and around our physical being. This energy attracts its likeness. So if you’re thinking, “I suck,” then your energy kinda, well, sucks–and you attract sucky experiences.

The opposite experience occurs when you think high-level thoughts like, “I rock!” When you think and feel, “I rock,” you exude an energy of confidence and in turn attract great experiences into your life. Each thought you have informs your energy, and your energy manifests into your experiences. Your thoughts and energy create your reality.

Q – You talk about manifesting mishaps. Can you tell us more about this?

Gab:  Manifestation has become a buzzword lately. Though it’s totally awesome that the Law of Attraction is now trendy, it also can be a bit misleading for folks who are unwilling to do the heavy lifting. If you truly want to use your energetic power to manifest greatness, you must clear all that blocks you from believing in your greatness.

A Course in Miracles teaches that on some level, you’ve asked for everything that happens in your life. Your intentions create your reality. There’s no need to beat yourself up: simply recognizing how your low-level thoughts negatively affect your life is the first powerful step toward changing your experiences. Begin your manifesting process by getting honest about how your low-level thoughts, energy and feelings of disbelief block you from receiving what you desire. Once you get clear about the blocks, you can begin to clean them up to clear space for positive manifestations to occur.

Many people, when trying to manifest, focus too much on the outside form rather than the internal condition.  From A Course in Miracles’ perspective, what’s important is our internal experience:  whether we choose to experience love or fear. When we commit to our internal experience of love, we begin to attract more love. Many people approach manifestation from a place of “How can I get something to feel better?” Instead, the focus should be: “How can I feel better and therefore be an energetic match for attracting more greatness into my life?”   The emphasis must be placed on healing the internal condition, not getting a hot new car or boyfriend.

Q – You have Five Principles for Manifesting Your Desires can you share them with us?

Gab:  Here are my five key principles for genuine manifesting. When practicing these steps, make sure to stay committed to the goal of feeling good first and attracting stuff second. Continue to remind yourself that when you feel good you energetically attract goodness into your life. When your primary function is to be happy, then whatever comes to you is irrelevant. Happiness is your true manifestation. 

Principle One: Clear Space

Before you begin the manifestation process you must take the necessary time to release all your disbelief in your power to be happy. One of the best ways to clear the blocks of disbelief is to pray for release. Begin a daily prayer practice of asking the Universe to set you free from all the limiting beliefs that block you from believing in your greatness. Stay open for signs from the Universe and show up for the assignments that are brought to you. Universal assignments come in many forms. Maybe you’re guided to the relationship that brings up all your shit so that you have to finally heal your fear. Or maybe you lose your job so that you can learn the lessons of self-reliance and strengthen your self-love. Trust that these assignments, however tough at times, are incredible opportunities for you to clean your energy and clear space to call in what you desire.

Your job in this step is to pray for guidance to clear all that blocks you from believing in your greatness. Then allow the Universe to help guide you to whatever assignments you need to aid in the healing process. Show up for the assignments and trust that the more you clean your thoughts and energy, the more positive experiences you will attract into your life.

Principle Two: Get Clear

Clarity is king when it comes to manifesting your desires. You must have clear intentions for what you want to call in–otherwise you can manifest a lot of what you don’t want. Focus on what you desire and then make a list of all that goes along with it. If you’re getting clear about the job you want, make a list of all the things about the job that make you happy: the office, the people, the salary, etc. Be unapologetic about what you want. This list helps you clarify your intentions and access a vibrant mental picture of what you desire.

The most important part of this step is to clarify how you want to feel. When you get clear on how you want to feel, you can begin to access that feeling. That feeling is what makes the manifestation come into form. You can write a thousand lists and make a million vision boards, but if you don’t clearly feel what you want to experience, it will never truly manifest into form.

Principle Three: Think It, Feel It, Believe It!

Now let’s put these steps together. Take your clear intention and spend time every day sitting in the feeling of what it is that you desire. You might access the feeling through meditation and visioning exercises. Or call on the feeling when you’re in nature or doing a form of exercise you love. Let the thought inform the feeling and let the feeling take over your energy. The more you feel the feeling of what you desire, the more you believe it is on the way. From a metaphysical perspective, if you believe it then it is already here. So make time for contemplating, thinking, feeling and believing.

Principle Four: Chill!

The next step is crucial to the manifestation process. In order to truly manifest your desires into form, you gotta chill out! A Course in Miracles teaches: “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait and wait without anxiety.” Take this message with you and allow your faithfulness to guide you into the belief that what you desire is on the way. Also trust that the Universe has a much better plan than you do. Though you are clear about what you want, you cannot control the timing or the form in which it comes. Stay calm, relax and trust that the Universe has your back!

Principle Five: Know the Universe Has Your Back

When you’re in the know you’re deliberate about what you want. When you’re in the know you no longer vibrate energy of fear or disbelief. You just know. As your disbelief wilts away, wanting is replaced by knowing. Getting into the know happens naturally. When you diligently practice steps one through four, you will clean house, get clear and feel happier. This process is healing and powerful, and it leads to a deep inner knowing that you are right where you need to be. Accepting your greatness in this moment, right now, is what manifests more greatness. Being in the know helps you accept that you already are living in your desired manifestation. When you feel it, you live it–regardless of what is happening on the outside. In time, the Universe catches up with your energy and your desires come into form. This process of allowing the manifestation to follow your internal faith is the true process of co-creation.

Stay Committed to Happiness

Stay committed to this five-step process and trust that you’re exactly where you need to be. Is your main desire to feel good? Trust you will be given everything you need to create that feeling. Know that feeling good is the true manifestation–and everything else is the icing on the already delicious cake!

Q – Next week you’re offering a free course in Manifesting.  Can you tell us more about this?

Gab:  If you want to learn more about Manifesting you can get two free video coaching sessions on the topic. December 3^rd and 12^th I’m leading a course called “How to Manifest Your Desires in 2013!”  The course is free when you order my new book “May Cause Miracles.”  You will also receive my guided meditations, audio book intro, and Authentic Power lecture.

Here’s what you can expect!
- Tools and meditations to undo old patterns and clear blocks
- A step-by-step guide for manifesting your desires in 2013
- Group guided meditation
- Group time for questions and answers

Details:
Dates: 12/3 & 12/10
Location: Livestream video or phone (attend from anywhere)
Time: 7 to 8:30 p.m. ET

Next steps:

To register for this course, simply pre-order May Cause Miracles here. As a special added bonus, you’ll also receive:
- 2 May Cause Miracles guided meditations
- Audio book introduction

REGISTER NOW!

To pre-order the book and get your gifts & course, click here.

Here’s a few stats from my blog “Education for Girls Means Global Growth:”

• There 130 million youth worldwide who are not in school.
• Of these 130 million youth, 70% are girls.
•  Less than 2 cents of every developmental dollar goes to our girls.
• Nine out of ten youth programs are aimed at our young men.
• Women invest 90% of their income back into the household (the average for men is 30-40%).
• An extra year of primary school increases girls’ wages by 10% to 20%.
• An extra year of secondary school continues to increase wages by 15% to 25%.

This is why what She’s the First does is so important!  Join myself, Monique Coleman, Azure Antoinette, JoJo, and many  more in supporting this fantastic organization on their mission.  Vote today; it only takes one minute! http://bit.ly/VoteShestheFirst

Click here to get a “Promote the Vote” packet with other ways you can help out!  There are graphics, email templates, sample tweets, Facebook statuses, and more!

Thanks for all your help in “being the change.”  Infinite gratitude, prosperity, peace, and abundance to you and yours!

We’ve also been subjected to an endless stream of Chris Brown and Rihanna rumors.  Despite Brown’s savage attack on Rihanna a few years ago, it appears that he and Rihanna have somewhat reconciled.  It also appears that no one has ever forgotten about the beat down he was behind—countless young women make comments about how he’s “so fine, he can beat me any day,” while still others call for public exile.

Chad Johnson, aka Ochocinco, former reality star and NFL player, was exiled to another level after he purportedly headbutted his now ex-wife, Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada.  VH1 dropped the couples’ show and the Miami Dolphins dropped him from their roster as well, leaving Johnson a newly unemployed newlywed, while a few weeks later, Lozada left the newly unemployed Johnson newly divorced.  Meanwhile, Lozada used the experience to talk to her fans about dating violence, advising them to follow her example and leave if they were in an abusive relationship.

Both Brown and Johnson issued apologies for their less then exemplary behavior.  Are they really sorry; is it genuine?  I won’t speculate—but I will tell you who is not sorry:  Def Jam artist and Chicago native Lil Reese, who apparently thinks it is okay to assault women.

Lil Reese

How disgustingly fitting that during domestic violence awareness month, footage of Reese viciously beating a woman down have gone viral.  Rumors on various blogs have identified the woman Reese’s alleged “baby mama.”  Global Grind has now identified the woman as  , but her exact relationship to Reese remains unclear, except for one thing:  she was victimized by Reese and she is a survivor of violence.

In the video, Tiairah Marie is seen arguing with Reese.  The two exchange words and threats, with her telling him to “Keep your hands to yourself!” and “They ain’t stop making guns after they made yours.”

From there, the argument escalates from mutual pushing and shoving into Lil Reese assaulting the woman in a full out onslaught of violence, continuing to beat her as she screams and falls to the ground.

There is no information available on whether or not Reese was ever prosecuted for his violent crime, or if Chicago police will investigate it.

There’s no doubt that Reese saw his friend and literal partner in crime Chief Keef come under fire for comments made on Twitter mocking the murder of gang rival Lil JoJo, with whom Reese was embroiled in a bitter feud with.  Following Keef’s footsteps, Reese took to Twitter to express his feelings, defending himself and discrediting the video.  (Update:  Reese later issued a “real” apology, after receiving intense backlash.)

Reese remarked that the video was “old” and that “haters” were “broke and bored.”  While Reese touts the video as a few years old, in a statement posted on Facebook, Tiairah Marie mentions that the attack took place just last year.

Just like a classic abuser, Reese fails to take accountability for himself and seeks to validate his behavior by blaming others—in this case, it’s not his actions that are at fault—it’s the people who don’t like him that released the footage; they’re the ones to blame.  He continues on, ranting about how him doing better than others is making a lot of “small shit” come up for him, but “it’s nothing.”

Some Twitter users reacted with outrage, but some fans backed Reese up on his deplorable actions, with one Twitter user telling Reese to “stand up for his rights” because of the manner in which the woman addressed him.

ESPN’s Chris Palmer and Reese even got into a brief Twitter feud over the matter, with Palmer calling him a “fake rapper” and Reese resorting to his preferred manner of conflict resolution:  threats of and/or violence.  Reese tells him that the two can “meet up” and “do whatever,” referring to Palmer as a “pussy.”

Global Grind editor Brittany Lewis even received threats from Reese’s supporters after posting a blog in which she discloses that “nothing’s more terrifying than teenage boys with nothing to lose and no f*cks to give, brandishing guns and unleashing their burning rage on women.”

Meanwhile, Reese’s label mate, Def Jam artist Lil-Flo Malcom took to Twitter to call Reese out, saying that what he did was not “gangster” or hip hop.  While Lil-Flo Malcom’s intentions were good—to have Reese take responsibility for his behavior—the manner in which he went about it speaks for itself.   Lil Flo-Malcom can be seen in the YouTube video to Reese lifting his shirt up to reveal a weapon, sending a mixed message that unwittingly supports the very thing he’s trying to end.  He’s reinforcing violence as a problem solver.  It’s okay when it’s man against man, but when it’s man against woman, then it becomes unacceptable.  Lil-Flo Malcom’s reaction is a perfect example of what psychologists, law enforcement, and researchers have long known:  aggression breeds aggression and violence begets violence.  Lil-Flo Malcom handled the situation the best way he knows how; perhaps the only way he knows how.

Social media continued to chatter, giving rise to the inevitable wave of jokes in extremely poor taste that present Reese as a hero for keeping these “hoes” in line.

Domestic violence—violence in general—is not a joke.  It’s not funny, it’s not gangster, it’s not cool.  It is unacceptable.  It’s about damn time that influencers with access to a widespread audience, such as Brown, Ochocinco, Rihanna, Lozada—and even Reese—speak out against it.  This would have been a great moment for Reese to educate his fan base that he regretted what he’d done and advise them not to make the same decisions or tell them what an appropriate alternative action in the situation would have been.  But Lil Reese can’t tell them that, because Lil Reese doesn’t know.

Lupe Fiasco

This—this is what hip hop heavyweight Lupe Fiasco was referring to when he said that he was afraid of the Chief Keefs in the world and the culture they perpetrate.  The glaring misogyny of reactions to the situation—Reese did no wrong because the “hoes” need to be in line—is the point he was trying to make with his sometimes misunderstood “Bitch Bad” track.  And this is what we as a society so desperately need to understand, so that we can help these troubled young men and women.  Yes, women too.  Women aren’t just the victims/survivors of violence; they’re the perpetrators as well, and it’s all too often against other women. 

Chief Keef

If anything positive comes out of this situation, with violence prone, misogynistic young men like Chief Keef and Lil Reese becoming rap stars, it should be the cry for help—the awareness that there is a problem.  It’s the awareness that these young people desperately need parenting and social services that can provide conflict resolution skills, healthy coping skills, peer mediation, positive extracurricular activities, positive role models, positive media, and mentorship, to start with.  It’s something that the adults in the situation should be cognizant of, including the adults at their respective labels, who are employing these kids.

The problem isn’t just limited to their hometown of Chicago; the problem is in our own homes, behind closed doors.  Yet it’s not a dirty little family secret that stays hidden within the confines of the home.  The effects are lasting and far reaching.  It spans generations; it spills out into our schools and our streets.  The same streets that you and I share, the same schools our kids are in; our mothers, daughters, brothers, fathers, sisters, sons, and cousins too.

It is everyone’s problem and there is a solution:  say something.  Don’t assume or wait for someone else to offer assistance or intervention.  Don’t assume someone else has called 911 or reported the suspicions to social services.  It’s not sticking your nose in someone else’s business; it’s a potentially life saving maneuver.  Your silence is deadly.

Oprah’s Hope Ambassador and best selling author Marala Scott knows about this potentially deadly silence all too well.  Her book “In Our House,” details the harrowing abuse that she, her mother, and brothers suffered at the hands of their father for their entire childhoods; even continuing into adulthood and spanning into the next generation.

Marala and her brothers went to school countless times with bruises, welts, and other clear-cut indications of violence.  The neighbors undoubtedly heard the screams.  Neither the authorities nor social services were ever notified. Family members who knew what was going on turned a blind eye, even sending the runaway children back into their abusive home.

“Domestic violence is prevalent today, just as it was decades ago when I was a child. It is still taking place right in front of us. Its rage has increased with vigor and it is no longer hidden behind closed doors the way it was ‘In Our House’. Abuse is relentless when it comes to making a mockery of our judicial system as it takes so much to protect those in need.  Domestic violence takes and breaks the lives of many, children, women and men,” says Scott.

She’s right.  Violence is no longer hidden behind closed doors—it’s posted on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and countless other media outlets, for all the world to see. Like we saw in the video of Reese and countless other videos that have made it to World Star Hip Hop, bystanders are often just that:  bystanders, who do little to nothing to intervene, and are generally filming for entertainment purposes as opposed to evidentiary purposes.

Worse yet, it’s even become profitable.  Young men with violent rhymes are getting record deals, a fan base, and big money, such as the 13 year old Lil Mouse, who raps about shooting people in the face.

While many comment that it’s “just music,” I beg to differ.  Whether it’s life imitating art or art imitating life, I’m not sure.  At this point, does it really matter?  All I know is that I saw Lil Reese beat a woman down in her own home and blame it on his “haters,” and that there are actually people in the world who can somehow defend his actions.

We cannot fail these young men and women, these families, and these children any longer; to fail them is to fail ourselves.  In the words of Tiairah Marie, “Keep your hands to yourself,” yes.  But let your voices be heard.

For more info on stopping domestic violence or to get help, check out the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Click here to read the rest in Social Work Today.

Fall 2012- Brain World Magazine interview with Monique Coleman

Visit www.brainworldmagazine.com to subscribe or read more great articles.

Summer 2012- Brain World Magazine interview with Fran Drescher

Visit www.brainworldmagazine.com to subscribe or read more great articles.

Visit Fran’s organization, Cancer Schmancer.